


If It Was You

by Prinzenhasserin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Aphrodisiacs, Clothed Sex, Edging, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-27 03:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17758703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prinzenhasserin/pseuds/Prinzenhasserin
Summary: Kakashi comes back from a mission incapacitated with a strange poison. Guy is just the man to help, even the medics think so.





	If It Was You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tuesday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuesday/gifts).



> Dear tuesday! This went a bit sideways, but I hope you'll like it anyway <3

The poison is potent and doesn’t react to the usual method of trying to burn it out of his body. Kakashi has been running since the border, basically, his assassination done and the information secured in a scroll already on the way to Konoha. Now, if only he could bring his body to cooperate long enough to do the same. If only the scroll hadn’t been poisoned.

He has to stop running to lean on the tree to assess his situation, something he can usually do while continuing to move. It’s not looking good. He’s burning up, he feels shivers racking his body inside and out. There’s a desperate need pushing him forward. He’s not reacting well, there’s a haze over his thoughts preventing him from making decisions. His body feels too sensitive and he wants to strip out of all his clothes. He should’ve taken Guy up on his offer to accompany him, he thinks before he can stop himself, and with it comes an immediate reaction from his body. The uniform—worn soft from repeated wear—feels like sandpaper on his skin, especially on his nipples. His cock is throbbing and hard. It’s inconvenient at best. He doesn’t know if he can make it all the way home.

Kakashi exhales shakily. He needs to try. He’s already finished his mission. So far, there’s been no pursuit. He gathers the few wits he can hold together, adjusts his erection, then starts running again. He’s even more unstable now, the fever playing tricks on his perception. He wants a team by his side desperately, or Guy at least, who could carry him home with his strong—

His thoughts are inconveniencing him again. He runs faster to escape the way his thoughts whirl around, but he’s already breathless from the fever and heat. He can’t tell if he’s moving at all. He’s sweating like a waterfall, his eyes see pinks and blues where only trees are supposed to be, and he might be hallucinating a talking dog which also might be one of his summons. Blood is pumping through his veins. His chakra is circulating. Usually, that helps to filter out the effects of most poisons. This one seems resistant. His temperature is getting higher, his need is getting stronger. He takes a break to strap his inconvenient boner to his leg with some spare bits of bandages, and continues on. As much as he doesn’t like medics, this looks like a situation that can only be solved with their help.

After hours, days, he manages to arrive at the Konoha outpost. He doesn’t recognize the guards with his fever, but straightens to salute anyway. "Yo," he says, very casually.

The guard is suddenly very near, and Kakashi feels their touch like a brand on his hot skin before he can’t take it anymore. He collapses in a dead faint.

Kakashi wakes up and knows he’s at the hospital immediately. There’s the underlying scent of lavender, masked by the smell of blood and other fluids. The quiet pumping of the IV machines are familiar, so he’s managed to arrive at Konoha and not Suna. The heat is still flooding his veins, but it's a bit removed from himself as if something is giving him additional fluid—external filters, fuck, it must be bad. His thoughts are clearer, if only a bit. Perhaps the unwitting starvation had amplified the impact of the poison. He doesn’t feel the weight of Pakkun on the bed, and so he opens his eyes.

He’s in the ANBU hospital room, the one for secret missions and a sound-proofing Danzō would be in awe of — and he isn’t alone. Guy is sitting on a chair sleeping, holding onto the missing dog—it’s a hospital chair, meaning he’s here with the official backing of the head medic in charge. It would be biting if it wasn’t so appreciated, Kakashi always has to break in to visit other people, and here Guy is, talking his way inside?

At the sight of him, the fever in his blood surges. It’s obnoxious, he doesn’t want to have these kinds of feelings in front of his best friend. He’d be grossed out, and that was the last thing Kakashi wanted. And yet the sight of him always gets his blood pumping, even when he isn’t half-mad with poison. Guy was dependable and strong, and looked so good in his uniforms that the only respite was imagining him naked. Not that Kakashi would ever admit any of this.

"Guy," he says and when that doesn’t elicit a response, he repeats it louder. That startles him awake finally, and Kakashi can demand, "Bring me some ice chips."

Guy blinks a few times, looking stretched thin and worried, but then his mouth bursts into a wide, sunny smile. He leaves off the obligatory genjutsu, which Kakashi is very thankful about, he is, it’s not like he wanted the extra confusion for his senses so that he wouldn’t feel his heart drop into his stomach, and the staccato-beat of his desire to flood his body.

It’s the poison, he tells himself, and knows he’s lying. He’s always admired the way Guy could be enthusiastic about everything, and he doesn’t know when that regard for a friend turned into a full-blown crush, but like every other thing about himself, Kakashi knows how to hide it behind the thin veneer of a perpetual lazy pervert.

"The ice chips," he prompts, when Guy continues to stare at him in relief.

"My youthful rival, I shall get you the best ice chips you have ever tasted!" Guy jumps up and softly lays down the pug that had been sleeping on him. Before he rushes out of the room to acquire Kakashi’s ridiculous demand, he pauses. There are a few moments where Kakashi braces himself for an overly honest outpour of emotions, which he’s not sure he could handle right now before Guy leaves the room without saying anything.

He’s not quite sure if that is better, but it gives Kakashi the much-needed room to breathe. His blood is still on fire. Breathing is difficult, not because there’s an injury to his respiratory system, but because he can smell the faint traces of Guy’s presence all around the room. He wants to be wrapped up in it, even more so than usual. He groans, realizing that the poison was more of an aphrodisiac than anything life-threatening, and wants to hide beneath the blanket.

Speaking of things hiding underneath his blanket: There’d be a very embarrassing tent visible underneath the thin hospital sheets if someone hadn’t had the wherewithal to keep his clothes on. He wants to strip so badly. (He wants Guy back inside on his knees sucking off his cock.) The desire hovers just on the pleasurable side of the pain-pleasure-scale, but it also feels like that could change any minute.

By the time Guy brings back a container of ice chips, Kakashi has tried to curb his rampant thoughts with some light meditation and biting his hand. Neither really works, though now there’s a wet spot on his sleeve. With Guy enters a medic, which thwarts all of his plans of getting Guy to feed him ice chips by hand. The medic is visibly worried, and Guy looks nervous.

"What’s the verdict, then?" Kakashi asks. He’s not too worried, he’s survived much worse things than being horny for a few hours, but he’s very interested in why Guy would be anxious. "Am I going to die?"

Guy flinches, and suddenly it’s not funny anymore.

"Not necessarily," the medic hedges. And what kind of answer was that? "We’ve at least identified the poison that is influencing you, which is why we can now manage your symptoms. It’s unlikely that you will fall unconscious again, but we’re cautioning against any strenuous activities. The underlying cause, however, is something we can’t treat in the hospital." The medic looks down at the chart he carried with him, then at Guy. "Your— partner said you would object to him helping you with your problem, but I really must caution against clearing yourself of the poison alone. It’s a chakra-based poison and those are notoriously finicky. I’m sure you’ll agree that you want to keep your hands, Hatake-san?"

The medic is expecting an answer, obviously, but Kakashi can only blink. "Why would my—" Guy is studying the ground like there’s an interesting challenge hidden beneath."—partner think I would object to his help?"

The medic clears his throat. "Far be it from me to inquire into your private habits, but he indicated that you would not be receptive to intimate contact from him—"

"Oh, he did, did he?" Kakashi interrupts. Guy is very deliberately not looking at him, but even lying in the bed Kakashi can see that his ears are deep red.

"Ah, well." The medic’s voice is very high. "The official recommendation is a, uh, handjob, and please wear gloves as the poison can be contagious through the exchange of most body fluids—"

"How about saliva?" Kakashi asks, and watches Guy’s reaction. He’s shifting from one foot to the other as if that’s going to hide his embarrassment—and his boner—any better.

"Kissing is fine, no blowjobs," the medic answers before he can think about being embarrassed by the question. "Uhm."

Guy is still deeply fascinated with the floor.

"I will need a decision from you," the medic adds, his voice now obviously miserable. The poor guy can’t be as obvious to the tension of the room as Guy is pretending to be.

"Please let me have five minutes with my partner," Kakashi tells him very pleasantly. "Thank you." He means it, too. Never before has any medic been so helpful to Kakashi.

After dropping of some of the things he carried on him and unplugging Kakashi from the machines, the medic leaves. They’re alone in the room again.

"So," Kakashi says.

"My youthful rival," Guy says, and then words seem to desert him and he just stares.

"Can I get my ice chips now?" Kakashi whines, and it sets Guy into motion. Kakashi doesn’t even need to trick Guy into feeding them by hand, he does so without really paying attention to the bowl of half-melted ice.

After Kakashi has almost decided to lick his finger next, Guy sighs deeply and then asks, "Does my youthful rival remember when I made him sign references before I could become a jōnin sensei?"

Kakashi is unsure what it has to do with the situation at hand. "I remember."

"You asked me if there was anything you could do to help me get a team since you didn’t want to become a teacher, but I did." Guy is being too earnest about this. Kakashi is going to burst into flame any moment now.

"Apparently there was some mixup with the forms since you gave me power of attorney."

"Oh no," Kakashi says. "That was definitely earlier. I think that was when you made chuunin."

"What?" Guy asks.

"What?" Kakashi repeats. "I didn’t have anyone else, my last point of contact was Minako-sensei, I thought you knew!"

"Why are we in the shinobi register as married, then?" Guy demands to know.

Kakashi pauses. "We’re in the shinobi register as married?" he repeats. All of Kakashi’s dreams have apparently been fulfilled for quite some time, judging by Guy’s everything. "Aww, sunshine, I didn’t know you felt about me like that."

Guy covers his eyes. "Please don’t tease me like that," he says miserably.

Kakashi stops, reconsiders his attack. Were they not on the same page after all? "So, the medic implied that you said I wouldn’t want to get a handjob from you? Why would I reject something like that? I like—"

"I get it, okay," Guy interrupts. He’s angry and quiet. Kakashi has never seen him so upset, and his favorite thing in the world is needling Guy. "My feelings are funny to you."

That’s the last thing they are, Kakashi wants to say. How to convince Guy that he’s sincere about his own feelings? He’s not going to trust anything Kakashi says, not drugged up and in a hospital bed.

And yet, he needed to be genuine about it, because it was Guy, because he didn’t want to burn any bridges, because Guy deserved someone who romanced him properly and not someone who fell unconscious because all the blood has been rushing to his boner.

"Guy," he says. "There’s nobody I would trust with this more than I would trust you." It’s painful to admit, and therefore it has to ring true. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Guy would disbelief it, but it’s probably not half as bad for him as Guy struggling with his own feelings. He at least knows that they might be requited.

Except then Guy looks at him with hope-filled eyes, and maybe he cannot do this, after all, Kakashi can’t be vulnerable like this, what if he fucks up their entire relationship—"Besides," he adds more light-hearted, even though he feels his own heartbreak. "Who else is there to consider? Do you want me to deal with the medic?"

Guy gives him a sharp look at that, as if he’s aware of being manipulated. And fair enough, Kakashi doesn’t want Guy unwillingly, which was the dilemma in the first place. But he can always make the move later, now that he knows Guy would be receptive to his advances. After a bit of deliberation, he finally says, "Okay. Yes."

Of course, once Guy has decided on something, he follows through immediately. Kakashi can’t even blink before Guy has crawled up to join him on the bed. With a vigorous tug, the bedsheet is off. "Wait, no foreplay?" Kakashi says, half whines. "Don’t I deserve a kiss at least?" He reaches for Guy.

Guy closes his eyes briefly. When he opens them again, Kakashi is struck. He’d take anything from him. He feels naked, even though he’s fully closed, and arguably Guy is the one who leaves less to the imagination wearing his spandex suit. But Guy also doesn’t need to leave anything to imagination, since he’s ripped and Kakashi’s a scarecrow who has seen better days. Guy’s lips are full and pink, and Kakashi really really wants to feel them, but when Guy kisses him, it’s through the scarf in front of his face.

Still, the small contact is electrifying. Certainly more than he deserves. With a quick gesture, his scarf is down and then he can feel Guy’s lips on his own and it’s perfect. He slides his hand to his neck for better leverage. "Thanks for indulging me," Kakashi says against Guy’s lips. "How about dinner later, too?"

Before Guy can answer or protest, Kakashi dives in again. Just one kiss wasn’t enough. First, he presses another butterfly kiss on his lips, and then he starts exploring. He’s hot and feverish, still, and judging from the noises Guy is making, he’s getting there, too.

There’s something about knowing that it’s Guy who he’s kissing, too. Something about being wrapped up with his best friend, being welcomed in this way—it’s so, so hot. Kakashi doesn’t ever want it to stop.

"Please go to dinner with me," he rephrases. "We’re doing this all wrong, but you deserve more."

Guy is so much bigger than him, and when he’s on top of Kakashi like this, nowhere else feels safer. Kakashi fumbles open the pants and, "Don’t forget the gloves," because even half out of his mind with want he wants Guy to stay safe, too.

Guy snaps on the rubber gloves, and gods, everything the man does was sexy. Or maybe that was the fever talking. There’s lube, too, the medic really not forgetting anything.

Guy takes his time, carefully unwrapping the bandages wrapped around his cock. It’s purple, now, or maybe his balls are blue—Kakashi doesn’t care anymore, he just wants a hand on his dick.

And then, finally—finally!—Guy’s hand wraps around his length. He settles it there for a moment, and Kakashi feels cradled and taken care of but he also wants more. When he bucks up into the hand to create some much-needed friction, Guy bears down on him.

Now, he can’t move an inch. It’s hotter than he expected. Kakashi groans in frustration, but Guy’s hold is strong. In all fairness, he could probably break out if he really needed to, he does know how to fight dirty—but there’s just something so intimate as being held.

Guy starts exploring, varying his strokes, further down.

Kakashi hears high, whining noises and then notices that that’s him. He bites down on his hand muffling the sound, but now he can hear the wet sound of Guy stroking him, and he can’t, he can’t— Guy tugs at his balls, and Kakashi can breathe again.

"That’s unfair," Kakashi manages to say. "I need to come. The medic said so. And now you’re not letting me."

"You’re very sensitive," Guy says, instead of defending himself in any way.

"I’ve been horny for days," Kakashi protests. "You should do your husbandly duty. For Konoha. It’s the least you could do."

There’s a peculiar look on Guy’s face, and then he says, just like he has said a thousand times before, "I’m challenging you to a duel, my youthful rival. If you can keep from coming for 5 minutes, I’ll go to dinner with you."

"5 minutes?" Kakashi wails, but it’s an easy price to pay for dinner with Guy. He closes his eyes to focus on holding it in, but that’s worse somehow. He’s too far gone, he’d been too cocky about it and now he’s paying the price.

Talking will help, maybe. "What do you get, if I come before 5 minutes are over?" he asks.

"Winning the challenge," Guy says, and how is he still so cool?

Kakashi tries to concentrate on anything else, something unsexy, but all he can think of is making Guy play through all of his favourite Icha Icha scenes. He’s not even trying to stop his hitching noises, and clings to Guy’s back.

Kakashi is sweating, and at his brink, and it’s so so good. He wants more, he wants everything. Guy is just tugging at his dick, for fuck’s sake, how can it still be the best sex he’d ever had?

And then, finally, Guy counts down the last few seconds, and when he’s down to zero, Kakashi comes hard. He’s seeing stars and sparkles around Guy. He always knew it wasn’t a genjutsu but his natural state.

The burning in Kakashi’s veins has died down. It’s now a soft, satisfied blanket of well-being. He can’t really imagine how anyone would use such a lousy poison as a security device, but he can’t really complain since it’s led to Kakashi discovering Guy’s crush. He’s watching through half-lidded eyes as Guy discards the soiled gloves, and wipes him down with some wet wipes and the bandages.

Guy also handles his spent dick carefully—Kakashi feels oversensitive, but also lazy. Guy tucks him back into his pants. Then he crawls up and presses a soft little kiss on his mouth. "Thank you," he says, and Kakashi wants to bask in this glow forever.

"Yes, yes," he says instead. "Well done, you. Now, please, get me out of this damn hospital."

"Of course," Guy says, and courteously stands at Kakashi’s shoulder so he can pretend he’s much more stable than he actually is. The orgasm took a lot out of him (and so did the mission before that) and so he lets Guy half-carry him out of the door.

It’s much easier to sneak out of the hospital than usual. This marriage was really working for him, beside all the usual reasons one got married: Kakashi wouldn’t mind at all belonging to Guy, who took better care of him anyway. Guy helps him home without complaining once.

"Ha," Kakashi says, when they’re outside of the dreaded hospital, and the nurses aren’t listening in on them. "I knew you wouldn’t know what to do with a date once you got one. You got married to me, and I’ve only gotten my wedding night now. You never once gave me flowers for our anniversary! When we go out to dinner later, I’m expecting flowers."

Guy keeps holding him upward all the way up the stairs to his apartment. "Since you gave me the honor of becoming my husband, Kakashi-san," he says formally, and holds onto Kakashi’s hand. "I will bring you flowers on each day we shall spent together, or I’m not Konoha’s Green Beast."

It’s ridiculous, and cheesy, and Kakashi doesn’t even like flowers. He takes Guy’s hand, and presses a kiss on his wrist. "Thank you," he says. "It’s a bit backward, to be married first and then go on dates, but I hope you can bear with me." —and because he can’t abide getting feelings all over Guy, he manages to saunter calmly into his apartment. His walk might still be a bit wobbly, it still looks very cool.

In the evening, Guy will be standing in front of his door with a bouquet of roses, he can tell.


End file.
